Our Darkest Hour (Our Darkest Series Book 1) Read online

  “I… I’m going to make breakfast, you want anything?”

  His eyes were on mine, narrowing until they were almost slits. Rhys read me like an open book. The uncomfortableness of what happened between us hung in the air.

  “Sure, whatever you’re having is fine.”

  The word fine echoed in my ear. Nothing about this was fine. Nothing at all.

  “Okay,” I mumbled, looking away and walking past him, careful to avoid touching his bare skin.

  I didn’t know how to go back to before we’d woken up entangled together. Shouldn’t it be something we could laugh off as a stupid accident?

  I trudged downstairs, pulling open the fridge when I got to the kitchen. I grabbed the bacon and orange juice, dumping it out on the counter. Picking up the frying pan from the hanger, I popped it on the stove and turned the gas on. Next, I filled the kettle and stuck that on before grabbing plates, glasses and bread. I buttered four slices, then chucked the bacon in the pan.

  The methodical way I went about making breakfast calmed my warring mind. It was the only way to get this shit out of my head. I was so lost in it, I barely registered footsteps behind me. A warm body pressed against my back as Rhys leant over my shoulder and stared down at the pan.

  “Oh, you are a lifesaver. I’m fucking starved.”

  My body shook with the effort of trying to keep my emotions in check when he wrapped an arm around my chest and leant his chin on my shoulder.

  “We’re okay, A. Let’s not make this shit into a bigger deal than it should be.”

  I let out a shaky breath.

  “Yeah.”

  He gripped me tighter, pressing his face against my neck which made my pulse go wild.

  “I need you and me to be normal,” he whispered against my skin. “I need this to be normal. You forget I can’t be without you?”

  “N…No.”

  How could I ever forget it? The two of us were the world to each other. He ended where I began and vice versa.

  “Then answer me this one question.”

  “Anything… you know that.”

  I would live and die for him. Rhys was the only person I needed more than life itself.

  “As much as I hate bringing the prick up, you never deny it when Valentine accuses us of being gay. So I need you to tell me if it’s true or not. Are you?”

  I swallowed and leant my chin on his head. I’d never admitted it out loud to anyone else before. Tamara had suspected it the entire time we’d known each other, but she’d never pushed me to tell her.

  “It doesn’t matter to me either way,” he continued. “It’ll never make me see you any differently or care about you any less, if that worries you at all.”

  Reaching up, I laid my hand against his and squeezed it. I’d never been able to deny Rhys anything before. And I wasn’t about to start now.

  “Yes,” I croaked out, my voice all shaky. “I am.”

  He kept his arm around me for a long moment and the only sound was the bacon sizzling in the pan. His breath fluttered across my skin, then he was gone, walking over to the kettle and pouring the water into the two mugs I’d set out.

  “Don’t burn the bacon.”

  Is that it?

  I shook myself and flipped it over because as much as I loved crispy bacon, I didn’t dig burnt at all. Eying Rhys out of the corner of my eye, he seemed relaxed and utterly unaffected by my confession. Did I ever really think he’d react otherwise? Rhys wasn’t the type to judge me for anything. He’d accept it all no matter what.

  When I finished our breakfast, complete with ketchup, I set both plates on the kitchen island. Rhys sat on one of the stools, having poured us both orange juice and made tea. I took a seat next to him and stuffed my sandwich in my mouth, watching him do the same.

  “What do you fancy doing today?” he asked when he’d swallowed his mouthful. I tried to tell myself I hadn’t watched his throat working, but it was an absolute blatant lie.

  “Getting the fuck out of this place.”

  He raised a dark eyebrow. His damp hair curled on top of his head in those delicious waves. I struggled to control the urge to run my fingers through it nor to not think about how I’d grip it in my fist whilst I covered his body from behind.

  Just cut it out already.

  “And go where?”

  “I don’t know. We could go for a drive.” Then the perfect idea occurred to me. “Let’s go down the coast, hey? It’s a nice day. It’d be like a road trip.”

  “What like Brighton?”

  I nodded. We could go on the pier and play in the arcades like we had done when we were kids and Tamara took us down there for the day.

  “Yeah, like old times.”

  He leant over to me with a twinkle in his eyes.

  “And overspend on Daddy’s credit card?”

  I grinned.

  “Like he gives a shit.”

  My dad might not do much for me other than demand I follow the path he and Mum had set out, but he had given me a credit card without a limit when I’d turned sixteen. Not that I ever went crazy with it. It was for me to live on since they had left me to fend for myself after they let Maritza go.

  “You’re on.”

  “Eat up and then we’ll get going.”

  If there was any way for us to go back to normal, it was to do something fun and reckless together. Going somewhere no one knew us and we could be just Aaron and Rhys. No expectations. No parents. Nothing.

  So despite the shit from this morning, I felt excited and full of nervous energy. Rhys and I were going to have the best day. I could feel it in my bones.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  On the drive, we’d rolled the windows down and blasted music out of the speakers, singing out of tune at the top of our voices. We’d stuck our arms out the windows, laughing as if nothing weird had happened between us this morning. As much as I tried to forget it, I couldn’t. Especially not now he’d admitted the truth regarding his sexuality to me. It opened up entirely new possibilities I wasn’t comfortable thinking about.

  The two of us walked along the beachfront with Mr Whippy ice creams in our hands, grinning to each other. The beach was packed with people drinking, sunbathing and some braving the sea. It reminded me of more innocent times when we were young, running along the pebbles with Tamara chasing after us.

  “You’ve got ice cream on your nose,” Aaron said, pointing at me.

  “What?”

  I looked down to find him painting some on there with his finger. So I dug my finger in mine and dabbed it on his cheek.

  “Oh no, my finger slipped.”

  He slapped my arm and wiped it off as I brushed my nose with my hand. When our arms dropped, our fingers brushed together sending a strange jolt up my arm. Aaron had always been the only one except for my mum I accepted any kind of physical contact from. Mostly it made me uncomfortable with someone I didn’t know. Not with him though. So having these weird feelings extend to small touches bothered me somewhat.

  “Dick,” he muttered.

  “You started it.”

  “Mmm, and I’ll finish it if you’re not careful.”

  I moved my ice cream away before he could make a grab for it, knowing exactly what he intended. Then I wrapped an arm around his shoulder, hugging him closer. He let out a long breath, his body almost melting against mine.

  “What should we do now?”

  “We totally need to go change up all this money I have burning a hole in my pocket and play the 2p machines.”

  “And lose it all before we win anything?”

  “You know it.”

  We raced each other up the beachfront towards the pier, trying not to drop our ice creams. A few people stared at us, but neither Aaron nor I cared. Here we could be whoever we wanted. And right now, we were choosing to be two teenage boys having a laugh with each other.

  We’d finished our ice creams by the time w
e got up to the pier and Aaron changed up our coins.

  “You think your dad will notice the charges?” I asked as he dropped pennies into the slot whilst I leant up against the glass.

  “He doesn’t check up on me. That would require him actually caring what I do outside of getting good grades.”

  Patrick Parrish was a certified arsehole. He looked down on me as if I was a piece of dirt on his shoe and hardly treated Aaron any better. I was glad his parents rarely showed up. Too busy jet-setting around the world now Kellie Parrish was an in-demand director. Her fame had blown up over the past few years, making her a household name. They never talked about Aaron to the media so anything we did together wouldn’t get reported on. Aaron had grown up without the spotlight on him because the only good thing Kellie had done was to maintain his privacy.

  “I’ll try to make sure we don’t get arrested for dumb shit since he’s not around to bail us out.”

  Aaron scoffed and rolled his eyes.

  “As if. We’ve never even nicked sweets from the corner shop.”

  I grinned. Aaron and I were good boys. Probably too good. We never got into trouble if we could help it. The only time we’d gone to the headmaster’s office when we were at primary was because Valentine had socked me in the jaw for being in the way. Aaron had almost got suspended for defending me. He’d kneed Valentine in the balls and I’d had to stop him from kicking the prick in the stomach whilst he was down. From then on, his parents had told him if he ever did anything like that again, they’d rip him out of school. It was shit when they sent him to a different secondary to me. A blatant move to stop us from hanging out so much. Pity for them, we’d found our own ways to, regardless.

  “Goodie two-shoes Aaron and Rhys are too innocent for such atrocious acts.”

  “We’d have got in so much trouble with my dad.”

  “You would. He’d have more excuses to hate me because you know I’m such a bad influence on his son.”

  I turned towards the machine next to his and started dumping coins in when he didn’t respond. I hadn’t done anything other than be born to poor working-class parents and live on a shitty council estate. If those were my only crimes then it was absolute bullshit. Fuck Patrick Parrish and his haughty attitude. He thought he was better than me having come from money. No, he was a conceited arsehole who thought money and status ran the world. He didn’t give a shit about Aaron’s feelings or what he wanted to do with his life.

  “You’re not a bad influence. You’re the best friend I could ever have. The only friend.”

  Aaron had other friends before me, but once we met, we became inseparable. No matter how much his parents encouraged him to meet other people, he ignored them, giving all of his attention to me. He told me once it was because I’d given him all of me and it meant more to him than anyone else ever could.

  “Lucky for you we promised we’d be best friends for life.”

  I saw him smiling out of the corner of my eye. And those dimples I’d wound him up about yesterday were pronounced. I felt bad about it now considering I’d been taunting him about girls when he wasn’t interested in them at all. So many things about him made sense now in light of his confession. The way he’d be very polite towards the girls in our class when we were at primary but never gave them the time of day. How he’d laugh it off whenever anyone talked about them in a sexual context. And I never brought it up as I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t feel any kind of way about boys or girls.

  I felt broken sometimes. Like I wasn’t normal because I didn’t experience attraction. Not how I’d heard it described by others anyway. It wasn’t until today. This morning. When my best friend had touched me. And then it all became very, very clear even if I’d tried to deny it. That word. Attraction. Finally made fucking sense to me.

  So why the fuck did it have to be him who made me feel it?

  I shoved those thoughts back in the box they belonged in. I’d told myself already, Aaron and I were friends. Nothing more.

  “The luckiest,” he whispered, nudging my shoulder with his.

  Reaching up, I ruffled his hair which made him scowl and shove me, almost knocking my cup of 2p's out of my hand.

  “Hey, careful.”

  “Would serve you right.”

  He smoothed his hair back down, perfecting the windswept look he seemed to keep these days. His blonde hair glinted in the lights of the arcades, his blue-grey eyes shining as he glanced at me. Those damn eyes. The window to his feelings, his emotions, his soul. And what a fucking beautiful soul it was.

  “We going to finish up here and go on the teacup ride?”

  “Hell yes,” he replied, slamming more pennies into the slot in a rush.

  I laughed and shook my head. Even though it was for kids, neither of us cared. Aaron’s enthusiasm for everything had always been infectious.

  The two of us quickly went through all our coins, winning very little before he took me by the hand and dragged me out the arcade and down towards the rides. I swallowed hard when he didn’t let go of my hand, glancing back at me with excitement written all over his features.

  He bought us some ride passes before we lined up, grinning the entire time like this was the most exciting thing we’d done in forever. The ride attendant gave us sceptical looks before we got on, but we ignored him. We laughed as it went around and around, egging each other on to spin faster. I’m sure we would have got kicked off if a child hadn’t started crying about wanting to get out of the teacup and their parent had to pin them down in the seat.

  Aaron rested his head on my shoulder when our laughter had died down, glancing up at me with wide eyes.

  “What?”

  His lip quirked up at the side.

  “Just remembering all the times we made Tamara go on this over and over.”

  “She hated it.”

  “So true, we drove her crazy. It’s a wonder she ever brought us back.”

  “She wanted to make you happy.”

  His eyes grew sad and it tore at me. Aaron had been really cut up when Tamara left to go live with her boyfriend as he’d asked her to marry him. He’d really loved her. I lifted my arm and wrapped it around his shoulder, tugging him closer.

  “She never cared about us being inseparable, not like Mum and Dad do. They’re arseholes about it.”

  “Didn’t stop us though.”

  “Nothing ever could. Don’t care what they say. Me and you are forever.”

  “Forever,” I echoed, feeling the word tug at my heart.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  It’d got late, like past ten. The sun had set finally almost an hour ago. Rhys and I hadn’t wanted to leave. The two of us spent the day in the arcades and rides on the pier before we’d laid out on the beach together with bottles of Dr Pepper and watched the beachgoers. Then we’d got fish and chips for dinner. It’d been the best day we’d had in a long time.

  The two of us strolled along the promenade away from the bars and clubs where it was quiet. We could hear the sounds in the distance but I focused on the sea crashing against the pebbles.

  “Did you manage to get sunburn? I thought you put enough cream on,” he said, prodding my arm which stung a little.

  “You know I’m a pasty white boy, unlike you.”

  “Aww, poor baby. Don’t worry, I promise to lather you up in after-sun when we get back.”

  I shivered at the thought of his hands all over me.

  “I can do it myself,” I muttered.

  No need to have temptation knocking at my door. Especially not after this morning. That would be a complete disaster in the making.

  “You sure you can reach everywhere?”

  “Oh haha, fuck off.”

  I shoved him and he shoved me back. I nudged him in the ribs so he retaliated by grabbing me around the neck, pushing me down and digging his knuckles into my head.

  “Get off,” I grunted, trying to push him away w
hilst laughter bubbled up from my chest.

  “You know you can’t take me. Don’t even know why you still try.”

  “Rhys!”

  It only made him dig his fingers in harder. I grabbed him around the waist and pinched his side, making him squeal. He tried to pull away, but I held on tight, digging my fingers into his ribs until he let me go. I rubbed my head whilst he rubbed his side.

  “Are we even now?” I asked, watching him warily.

  “Fuck yeah, that hurt.”

  I stuck my tongue out at him and strolled away with my hands in my pockets. He caught up to me quickly, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and nudging his head against mine.

  “It’s so much more peaceful out here. Not like at home. We can even see the stars properly.”

  He pointed up at the sky. I tipped my head back, watching them twinkling above us. There was still a ton of light pollution, but it wasn’t as bad as London. Even so, we could see so many up there in the sky and it struck me how beautiful it all was.

  “Pretty.”

  He dropped his arm from my shoulder and grabbed my hand, dragging me towards the pebbles.

  “What are you doing?”

  I shivered. Now night had fallen, it was getting cold.

  “Just come on.”

  I let him drag me down the beach. He stopped and practically threw himself on the stones, laying back with his hands under his head. I stared at him for a long moment.

  “Rhys?”

  He patted the stones next to him.

  “Lie down and look at the sky with me.”

  “Are you sure that’s comfortable?”

  “Aaron, just do it.”

  How could I say no? Especially not when he used my full name. I lay next to him, propping my head up with my hands. The pebbles dug into my back and were cold, but I ignored it. If I was with Rhys, it didn’t matter. I’d go anywhere and do anything with him.