Dirty Judge (Dirty Series Book 4) Page 7

  I glanced over finding a tall man with flame-red hair wearing a bright blue shirt with his arm around another man.

  “There’s spoiling me, then there’s this.”

  “No, this is him showing his taste is impeccable.”

  Clara snorted and batted the man’s arm.

  “As if you didn’t help him.”

  He shrugged.

  “What can I say? You want the right ring, you go to your girl’s gay best friend.”

  I eyed the two of them with amusement. It was clear they knew each other well. Clara’s eyes fell on me and she smiled.

  “I’m sorry, I’m being remiss. This is my man of honour, Finn and his boyfriend, Sam. This is Matilda, her partner is a friend of Dom’s.”

  I shook both the men’s hands, making appropriate noises.

  “Honey, please tell me that’s your man,” Finn said, nodding his head at Adrian.

  “Yes, that’s Adrian.”

  “Oh, but he is one fine male specimen.”

  Pride swelled in my chest when Finn gave me a wink. His boyfriend just rolled his eyes.

  “Don’t I know it.”

  “He’s a very lucky man too.”

  My face felt hot. I’d never get used to compliments.

  “Well, thank you.”

  I felt Adrian’s hand on my arm.

  “Would you like a drink?” he asked when I turned to him.

  “Yes, please. I’ll come with you.”

  He didn’t protest and after the necessary introductions between him, Finn and Sam were made, Adrian whisked me away towards the little bar area. We stood side by side with glasses of champagne watching the guests off to the side after we’d ordered.

  “They make a beautiful couple,” I noted after a few minutes had gone by.

  His hand slipped around my waist, clutching me to him.

  “Mmm, yes, they do.” He nuzzled my ear with his nose. “But no one is as beautiful as you.”

  “You are relentless.”

  I turned my head to look up at him. His dark eyes shone with affection and mischief.

  “Am I not allowed to say nice things about my girlfriend?”

  “You are, but I’m not used to all of this.”

  I’d never rated myself too highly, always aware of the extra weight I carried in places. His hand slipped down to my curves, fingers brushing along them.

  “Every part of you is beautiful, Tilly, even if you can’t see it. I love your curves. I always will. You are perfect just the way you are.”

  It’s as if he knew what bothered me without me having to utter a word. He’d seen me staring at myself in the mirror after we showered together. The frown etched on my face. I’d never hidden the way I felt from him, but I didn’t feel the need to voice it aloud.

  “Adrian…”

  “Shh, I know. That’s why I’m not going to stop telling you just how stunning you are.”

  “When did you get so perfect?”

  He grinned.

  “I think I’ve always been perfect in your eyes.”

  I shook my head and nudged him with my shoulder.

  “Don’t use that against me.”

  “No? So you haven’t spent all your life pining after me?”

  I bit my lip before nudging him again.

  “Shut up.”

  He leant towards me.

  “Never.”

  Our lips met for the briefest of moments, reminding me of exactly why this man made my heart sing. He could be so serious and yet so ridiculous at the same time. I loved those sides of him. The bad boy in Adrian is what attracted me to him in the first place, but it was his kindness and caring nature which made me fall deeply and irrevocably in love with the man. He might hide that bad boy under his suit but I knew where it lurked. His beautiful inked skin and the way he fucked me without mercy. Made me submit to him completely.

  To me, he was the judge and jury. I’d been sentenced to a lifetime of bliss by his side. That’s if he wanted this with me forever. We were still so new and yet I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. Not now I knew what it meant to be with the man I’d loved all my life.

  “Well, this is an unexpected surprise,” came a female’s voice, causing me and Adrian to pull away from each other.

  Stood in front of us was a woman who looked to be Adrian’s age. Her blonde hair was pulled back from her face in a slick ponytail, giving her a harsh edge. Her green eyes roamed across me and her lip curled back into a sneer, making me wonder who she was and why she looked like I was the competition.

  “This is her, isn’t it?” she said with an unnerving calm, her eyes flicking to Adrian. “This is who I never lived up to.”

  I really looked at her then, realising the woman in front of me seemed more than a little familiar. Mostly because she had a lot of my features in her. The blonde hair, the curves and the green eyes. It made my hackles rise. Who the hell did this woman think she was? And why was she acting like she knew who I was? I’d never seen her before in my life.

  My eyes found Adrian, whose mouth had hardened into a thin line and he looked about ready to explode.

  “Hello, Lynn.”

  And that’s when it dawned on me. The woman in front of us was Adrian’s ex-wife.

  Chapter Ten

  Adrian

  I knew there was every chance Lynn would be here, but I hadn’t wanted to think too much about it. Bringing Tilly with me had nothing to do with that. Having my girl by my side meant everything to me. I wanted her in my life permanently.

  It’d been years since I’d laid eyes on my ex-wife. Our last meeting had been part of the divorce proceedings. Our marriage was something I regretted more than anything. Especially since Lynn was right. She never lived up to Tilly. However, not for the reasons Lynn clearly thought. Yes, Lynn was similar to Tilly in appearance, but that’s where it ended. My ex-wife happened to be vindictive and only ever saw me as a means to an end. A trophy husband as it were because we looked like the perfect power couple. Me, a barrister and her, a solicitor.

  Tilly was different. She cared about and appreciated me. Every day we’d been together, she’d shown me how much she wanted this to work. This woman and I were building a partnership. I’d do anything to make her happy and she wanted to do the same for me. I could say none of those things about my marriage to Lynn.

  I wasn’t going to rise to the bait. Lynn couldn’t ruffle me. Not when I had Tilly by my side. And not when I cared very little for her opinion.

  “Adrian,” Lynn said, her eyes narrowing to slits.

  Whilst I had no interest in introducing Tilly to Lynn, it would be rude of me not to. I waved a hand at her.

  “Tilly, this is my ex-wife, Lynn… Lynn, this is Matilda.”

  Tilly stiffened, staring up at me with an unreadable expression painted on her face. I had some idea she’d already worked out who Lynn was, but hearing me confirm it made the light in her eyes dim. And I hated it.

  “Tell me, Adrian, did it take you long to go after her after we ended?”

  Lynn had never beaten around the bush. I’d like that about her at first, but her lack of empathy became a huge issue between us. She didn’t try to understand me even when I’d made every effort to accommodate her every need.

  “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

  I wasn’t going to get into a discourse with my ex-wife about my current girlfriend. My relationship with Tilly had absolutely nothing to do with her.

  Lynn stared daggers at me as if she hated how she’d lost control of me. I didn’t give a shit what she thought. The woman didn’t get to walk back into my life and start causing trouble. I didn’t have any ill will towards her, but this kind of behaviour was exactly why we’d never worked.

  “Isn’t it? You did replace her with me, didn’t you? Our whole marriage was an absolute sham.”

  I stiffened, wanting to be away from this conversation c
onsidering we were here to celebrate our friend’s engagement and not to make a scene. I could feel Tilly’s discomfort radiating off her in waves. This was not how I wanted our first official outing amongst friends as girlfriend and boyfriend to go.

  “You know as well as I do that our marriage had nothing to do with anyone but you and me and now is not the time to be digging up old hurts and wounds, Lynn. I’m not going to stand here and let you insult Tilly in this way, so excuse me.”

  With my arm firmly around Tilly’s waist, I pulled her away from my ex-wife, internally cursing myself for ever thinking I could get away with not seeing her here. Thankfully, no one had noticed our conversation, but I didn’t want to draw attention to us. The sooner I got Tilly away from Lynn, the better.

  Neither of us spoke until we stopped on the other side of the venue. I turned to Tilly, whose face had gone a little white. She clutched her champagne glass as if her life depended on it.

  “Are you okay?”

  She turned her face up to me, her green eyes full of unshed tears. I reached up and cupped her cheek, hating she’d had to hear any of that shit from Lynn.

  “Is any of what she said true?”

  I winced, knowing she had every right to ask it but wishing she hadn’t.

  “Are you asking if she was a replacement for you?”

  Tilly nodded, blinking back the tears in her eyes threatening to fall. I hated this, but I wouldn’t shy away from the difficult questions with her.

  “No, I would never treat anyone like that. I’m not proud to admit she was a distraction for me and I should’ve never married her, but she wasn’t a replacement for you. No one could replace you, Tilly, and I wouldn’t want anyone to.”

  “A distraction?”

  I’d already admitted to Tilly I’d wanted her longer than I should have, so I might as well fess up to this shit too.

  “The honest truth is I distracted myself with women so I wouldn’t think about you. I didn’t purposefully lead anyone on. And I genuinely thought my marriage to Lynn would work. It’s only after I realised she only wanted me because I looked good on her arm that things started to sour.”

  A tear fell down my beautiful girl’s cheek and it made my heart lurch. I didn’t like admitting my past mistakes to anyone, but with Tilly, I couldn’t lie to her. I never wanted anything to come between us, especially not my ex-wife. So I’d vowed to myself to always give her honesty. Especially since she’d accepted how I’d felt when we were both younger. How it didn’t bother her. And it didn’t matter since it was in the past. We were looking forward not back.

  “She doesn’t sound very nice.”

  “She isn’t.” I wiped away the tear with my thumb, drawing Tilly closer. “And she doesn’t matter to me. Not any longer. I’m sorry you had to meet her.”

  I wanted her to know she was the only woman who held any sort of importance for me.

  “It’s okay… I guess.”

  It wasn’t, but Tilly was trying to put on a brave face.

  “Do you want to leave?”

  She searched my face for a long moment before nodding. I didn’t blame her. Being around my ex-wife set me on edge so I could only imagine what Tilly must be feeling. I dropped my hand and took hers, tugging her away towards the exit. Dom and Clara looked busy so I didn’t want to disturb them or explain why we were leaving early. We popped our glasses down on a free table as we headed out.

  Tilly was very quiet on the tube ride home. I didn’t want to push her into telling me what she was thinking about. Seeing Lynn had brought up a whole host of emotions for me. Not least the ones involving the breakdown of our marriage and the aftermath. Not to forget that only a few years later, my sister had her psychotic break. I still hadn’t explained that part to Tilly and I should. Annie and Tilly had been close as kids. Best friends. She deserved the truth.

  When we reached my flat, Tilly went straight to my sofa, kicked off her heels and sat down, rubbing her temples. I walked into the kitchen and poured her a glass of water before going over and sitting beside her. She took the glass and sipped at it.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  She let out a long sigh.

  “What’s there to talk about?”

  “You just don’t seem very… happy.”

  She set the glass down on the coffee table and sat back, eying me with a neutral expression.

  “I’m okay, Adrian. Clearly, she has unresolved issues and I guess I can understand that. I know if you had any, then you would tell me about them. I trust you to be honest with me.”

  I reached out and took her hand, running my thumb down the back of it.

  “She means nothing to me. As far as I’m concerned, it was over and done with seven years ago when we separated and the divorce was merely a formality.”

  I leant towards her and when she didn’t retreat, I pressed a kiss to her cheek before leaning my forehead against hers.

  “I just want to focus on our future,” she whispered, reaching up to stroke my face. “The past can’t be changed. We’re together now so that’s what matters to me.”

  I stared into those beautiful green eyes, wondering what I’d done to deserve such a stunning and understanding creature. Tilly was everything I’d ever wanted.

  “Tilly…”

  “Hmm?”

  “I love you.”

  She blinked.

  “You do?”

  I nodded, hoping it wasn’t too soon to admit such a thing or the wrong time considering what happened this evening. It was the truth. I couldn’t be anything but in love with her.

  “Adrian…”

  “I love you, Matilda Evans. You are the most precious person in this world to me and I can’t be without you. I want you to know I’ll give you whatever you ask of me. I’ll stand by your side for the rest of our lives. You are the only woman I want. The only woman I’ve ever really wanted. I’m happiest when I’m with you. No one will ever compare. No one will ever have my heart because it belongs to you and only you.”

  Tears welled in her eyes all over again, but this time I didn’t think they were tears of sadness. Tilly gave me a watery smile, her hand cupping my face before she pressed her mouth to mine. My arms came around her, pressing her against my chest. We kissed as if it was the last one we would ever share even though that was far from the case. I’d have kisses from Tilly forever. She was my one.

  When she pulled her face back, tears spilt down her cheeks but she was still smiling.

  “I love you too… so much. I’ve always loved you, but now… now I know this is true love. You have given me so much. I didn’t know I needed someone to see me just the way you do. When you look at me, I feel beautiful… desirable… wanted… needed. And there is no question about me needing you or wanting to live without you. I want… I want forever with you.”

  My heart squeezed in my chest, all of my emotions bubbling up to the surface. Knowing she loved me meant the whole entire fucking universe. Hearing those words from her lips, well… nothing could prepare me for it. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in my life than this woman in front of me.

  “I’ll give you forever. I want it with you too.”

  “Even though you’ve been married before?”

  I smiled.

  “I still believe in it even if it didn’t work out before. If we were to take that step, it would be different and you know why? You and I want each other’s happiness and that’s more important than anything else.”

  Tilly’s lips curved upwards further even as tears still flowed down her cheeks.

  “One day we will… just not yet. I think it’s a bit soon to be thinking about that.”

  My arms around her tightened.

  “There’s no rush. Being with you is all I want. The rest will come when it comes.”

  She kissed me again. All of our feelings poured out into it. I picked her up a
minute later and carried her into my bedroom. We stripped each other down and lay under the covers together, just staring into each other’s eyes as if we couldn’t look away.

  “I just remembered we didn’t manage to eat anything at the do,” I murmured, stroking her hair back from her face.

  “Mmm, why don’t we order in and have dinner in bed?”

  “I like the way your mind works.”

  “Only like?”

  I leant closer, brushing my nose against hers.

  “Did I say like? I definitely meant love.”

  She kissed me again and we got lost in each other for the rest of the evening. Thoughts of my ex-wife were a distant memory in Tilly’s arms. The woman I would have forever with. And I knew we would get through anything if we did it together.

  Matilda Evans was mine and me?

  Well, I was hers.

  Chapter Eleven

  Matilda

  Despite the fact meeting Adrian’s ex-wife had been hard on me, I decided not to let it come between us. I trusted Adrian when he told me she meant nothing to him any longer. I could see how much he loved me from the way he looked at me and how he treated me like I was his queen. There was no doubt in my mind this man would do anything for me.

  Probably why I was standing in his kitchen in just his shirt, leaning against the counter watching my tattooed and very shirtless boyfriend cook me breakfast. We’d gone from strength to strength since the engagement party a couple of months ago, spending all our free time together. I was at Adrian’s flat far more than my own.

  “I could get used to this,” I said, picking up my mug of tea from the counter and sipping at it.

  He glanced back at me.

  “To what?”

  “You making me breakfast every morning.”

  His dark eyebrow shot up.

  “Is that so?”

  “What girl wouldn’t like her man taking care of her?”

  He turned back to the stove to flip the bacon he was frying up to go with the poached eggs and toast.

  “An ungrateful one.”

  I popped my mug down on the counter and shoved off it, stepping up to his back and wrapping myself around it. I kissed his shoulder.